29 and counting

he IM me today. at about 7 or so.

asked if we could catch a movie as friends.

told him no and this stuff.. him wanting to go back together is just not healthy. from a short questions, it turned out to be a 2 hours long IM conversation.

he admitted that it was practically his faults and he'd changed but told him that it's too late for that. and along the 2 years ive been with him, ive heard it before. am not gonna do the relationship again. it's over.

left office at about 9 as i need to fetch my sister at home. the last sentence i wrote to him was 'go sort out your life and forget about me'.

i dont know. probably 20% of myself thinks i should go back as am not getting any younger ya kno. but another 80% of me do not want to go the same shit again where i dont kno where my future is going. at least if we breaks up.. one thing i kno.. i hav the options of dating men again. altho i might not find anyone as nice as him.. at least i kno am not wasting my time waiting.

question: what do you like to hear when u're about to sleep?
answer: 'sweet tight sweetheart'

i woke up this morning with a text from him "Gosh I really miss you Bo. Please come back."

dont really kno what time it was sent as my mobile stupidly switched off itself last night. noticed the text only at about 7am earlier today.

some missed calls during the day. i mute'ed his number on my mobile. so cant really know when he calls.

finally he just FB msg me at about half an hour ago. a long msg (read through my blackberry tho) saying how much he has fucked the relationship up and wants another chance at it again.

i so want to reply to him saying that the empty promises wont work anymore.. but by replying.. it'll mean that i still care. dont wanna put ideas in his head.. do we? hmmm...

question: what is the ideal height of my ideal man?
answer: slightly taller that i need to look up to kiss him ;)

my 1st day.

ive been in very foul mood today. although keeping my day busy; i had 2 pieces of alcoholic cholocate. a gift from a friend. frankly, it was a boost for my so depressed day.

i carried on the day like any other day. except that there are times when i do think about us. but i quickly snapped of that thought. the thought of giving us another chance. nahh.. i cant look back now.. it's a little too late for anything. but i have to admit tho, getting a text from him today "i miss bo" does make me feel a bit better. sigh.

a friend plead for help today. she was a college friend. got married a couple of years back with her 8-years-sweetheart and they have a cute son now. a very friendly couple i kno. i just had dinner last week with her but have never really been in contact that frequently. we sorta click as we were the only 2 girls (that i kno of that time) to actually pursued in advertising (old me that is) right after graduation. i must tell you that you need more that skills and guts to actually survive in this field. i gave up.. but she carried on.

i guess by being there for each other at the initial stage of our working life, i actually try best to keep in touch with her. even tho i didnt really go for her wedding, werent there after she gave birth, have not really been to any of her events invitation; we still remain friends. that's what i like about her.. she's unattached friend. we meet when we are available for each other. if we're not.. then we wont ;)

anyway, back to her story, she called me for some cash aid. her car installments have been overdue for nearly 4 months and the bank is trying to repossess her car. in order not to get the car taken, she is required to pay 2 months of her installments. what happened was, both hubby and she are in a very tight budget now. Hubby is going for VSS and she's in advertising; she does not earn that much as well. but hubby did gave her a month installment last friday but she (being a girl) has spent some of it to shop online. yeah i kno i kno.. wrong thing to do.. but she was going to replace it with her pay at the end of the month (thinking that she still has more time).

little that she knows, the bank has issued a repossession letter today after 90 days lapse. her car was about to be taken away during lunch today but she managed to get away for a day by promising to pay MYR400 to the collector. and since it was not really a ligit arrangement; she only paid about MYR200 today and promised to pay up the balance tomorrow. plus she would need to have 2 months installment to get outta this messed. best bit.. her husband doesn't know about this.

if only she made the 1 month payment last friday; she would not have to undergo this situation at all. i feel pity for her though. surviving in this environment with a kid is not easy. plus men are not like they used to before (look at our fathers). back then, men are the only source of income. and we are so spoiled that we get almost everything that we want. now is not as simple as that. both parties need to work to survive the lifestyle that they really want. some even have to pretend to have it all but with debts surrounding them.

sigh. not somewhere i'd want to see myself into of course.

gave her MYR500 to help out. only cash that i have at hand now. told her to get the thing settled and pay when she has the money. he needs to tell her hubby about it only after everything is clear. dont want him to get more stressful to hear about this problem at the situation now. and she will definitely be in a very bad situation.

hope things go well with her. love ya babe.

question: what i want in a man?
answer: stability.